I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
