I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
