it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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