I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
