Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I came so hard my ears popped.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
