My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
