i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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