Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
