I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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