The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
This girl is more easily done than said...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
