apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
