Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
