guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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