took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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