he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
