there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
