Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
