Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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