even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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