You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
