her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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