She's JV to your varsity
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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