Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize
