I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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