maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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