it's like iHOP with fire
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
