So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
