11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
