Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
