are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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