Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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