do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize