Pregnant stripper...not hot.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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