Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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