me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
