quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
