i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
