I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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