There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
