I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
