my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
