He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
