look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
