Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
