he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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