How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
