my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
