Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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