a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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