Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
