So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
