You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
