Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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