i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
