why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
