it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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